Friends with benefits: for some people, it seems like the ideal situation. You have a person that you are sexually attracted to and can have sex with. However, both of you have some sort of “non-relationship” status. Well, of course, it is a relationship of sorts: however, it generally comes without the restrictions that a traditional, monogamous couple would have.
You don’t have to remember anniversaries. You don’t have to think about what the two of you will be doing in five years’ time, or whether one of you wants to have children. No, all you need to do is just have sex and enjoy each other’s company.
Yet there are a lot of sex-lovers who may wonder if this kind of relationship has what you might call a “sell-by” date. This is pretty understandable. A common problem that a lot of individuals have this kind of relationship is that one or both of the parties “catches feelings” for the other one. This ends up making things rather awkward and complicated.
The Danger of Falling in Love
The whole idea behind a fuck buddy relationship is freedom. Both parties want to have regular sex with someone who knows how to please them, yet at the same time does not want to have to commit to a relationship. This is a perfectly reasonable arrangement: after all, understanding what the other person wants is going to ensure that you will both be honest.
Things can go sour if one person develops feelings. If these feelings are one-sided, then the other party may definitely get uncomfortable. Even talking about these feelings can lead to feelings of loss, anger, and resentment.
Two people falling in love with each other is, in theory, less of a problem. Both people will want the same thing and can work towards it. However, you still have to examine the reasons for wanting a fuck buddy relationship in the first place. Even those who fall in love may be averse to the idea of a relationship with their fuck buddy and will still spurn them.
Finding the Balance
There are different approaches to take when it comes to fuck buddy relationships. Some people will simply avoid being actual “friends” with their sex partner: it will be a relationship purely based on sex, so when they meet up that’s pretty much exactly what they do with one another. In cases like this, it can end up going for a very long time.
However, another safety mechanism is to put a sell-by date on the relationship. For some people, this means six months of sex before switching partners. It totally depends. At the end of the day, it is up to both people to determine what the best course of action is. There are lots of different types of relationship outside the typical binary model, so it is a good idea to explore these. Just a bit of knowledge will equip you with the means to find your perfect fuck buddy!