With sex work recently legalized in certain parts of Australia and the stigma of seeing a sex worker slowly starting to lessen, many partners are wondering just why the men in their lives choose to see sex workers.
The real truth is that men (and women) of every age, race, culture, and sexual identity choose to pay for the talents of sex workers. And the reasons why they do that may surprise you!
Sex With Sex Workers
Starting with the obvious reason, many men visit escorts simply for the physical pleasure. Whether that is because they aren’t getting enough sex in their relationships, because they are single, or because they have a sex drive that is much higher than their partner, the majority of men are just in it for the quick orgasms. In fact, some men don’t even see it as cheating on their partners due to the lack of emotional attachment. There are also cultural factors at play, especially for men in cultures where sex before marriage with their partner is considered unacceptable.
On the other side of the coin, there are the men who seek out sex workers mostly for company. While plenty of them still have sex (or some variety), they mainly want the intimacy in the form of hand holding, gentle affectionate touching, and just having somewhere there to listen to them and make them feel important. Many of these men also feel poorly about themselves and need validation that has nothing to do with intercourse. There is even a service known as the “girlfriend experience,” where they go on dates together and sex is optional.
Desire To Explore Their Fantasies and Fetishes
Besides simple intercourse, men also visit sex workers to live out the fantasies they don’t feel comfortable discussing with their everyday partners. From the taboo (rape fantasies) to the more benign (normal bondage fantasies), sex workers provide a way for them to explore some of the more hidden sides of their sexuality in a safe environment. Some professionals read even more into it, stating that men would rather pay for sex than try to resolve any sexual conflicts in their relationship. Or it’s as simple as just wanting to have a threesome.
Desire To Explore Their Sexuality
One other reason that men visit sex workers is a desire to explore their own sexuality. Whether these men are in monogamous relationships with women or are single and just trying to figure themselves out, a visit to a male sex worker allows them to safely explore without the fear of being judged. In some cases, coming out of the closet may end a relationship or cause them to lose custody of their children. Sex workers help them avoid all that by providing them with a discrete way to be themselves without as much risk.
Sex work is becoming more and more normalized. With the increase in places allowing legal sex work comes an interest in the psychology behind why men seek out these services. Learning to respect and view sex workers are professionals who choose to do the job and not demonizing the men who visit them is essential to moving forward as a society and ending sex trafficking.