Making love is often displayed as that special time when two souls collide in a cosmic succession of toe-curling, lip-biting euphoria. The world seems to sit still and silently rejoice while the two lovers unite. It’s quite beautiful to imagine, isn’t it? It is not often we feel that unwavering safety in a state of vulnerability and too often we wonder if the other person is enjoying it – or just trying to get it over with. Making love is coitus of a different species. It’s not hair pulling and booty squeezing, but two people existing as one. “A lover’s gaze” must have been coined during one of these sessions. Although it would be unsettling to have your partner’s eyes piercing yours during sex. Maybe it’s a soft gaze that happens before, like at the dinner table or something like that. Anyway, making love is what we imagine doing when we think of true love.
Sex, on the other hand, is in stark contrast to how people perceive making love. Although the two follow the same principals one is an act of lust while the other is simultaneously an emotional release.
Try and recall a day when everything went wrong, a day that perpetually enforced the notion of Murphy’s Law. Sometimes, at the end of days like these, the best thing is a quick release. So you walk through the door, grab your partner by the hand and head to the nearest place to pound the day away. It could be on the armrest of the couch, the kitchen table, or maybe even on the hood of the car in the garage. It doesn’t matter where, what does though is the lack foreplay and complete absence of emotion. This isn’t a bad thing. It is, arguably, an important factor in any relationship. To be able to let go and rally in the sack can be tremendously cathartic.
Aside from it being a good way to dissolve the anguish from a merciless day, it takes the loins share of all sexual activity. Every time isn’t making love. It actually happens rarely, and should. Having a special connection during sex is like eating your favorite food: if every meal you had pickled herring and mustard it would become bland, and soon the enthusiasm for your favorite meal would disappear. But if eaten occasionally then pickled herring and mustard retains that special taste you love.
So there are some general differences, but it’s going to be what you make it into. If you are blindfolded and playing hide-and-go-get-it, and call it making love; then making love it is. The same stands if you want it slow and sensual with the lights dim. It doesn’t matter what name you decide to drench sex in — fantasy, fetish, missionary or ménage à trois – if it’s an expression of tenderness and compassion between you and your partner, and you call it making love, then that’s what it is.